if i put abortion in the title i'm sure you will read this........

If you want me to have all the answers. I won’t

If you want to tell me that you know better. Go ahead

If you want to try to change my mind. I’ll listen

If you won’t listen to me. Don’t engage.

If you think that I’m weak in my faith. I am strong

If you are unwilling to be challenged, intelligently. This won’t go anywhere.

If you are going to judge me. I’m okay with that

This blog is a conversation on paper. One that I would love to have in person, one that I’m sure I’ll start to have in person. In the last couple days I have been reflecting on my faith, legislation, public service and how much I really don’t know in regards to the vastness of this beautiful journey we call life. (note: I’m not having a crisis of faith, not reflecting on if what I believe is true or not, not doubting the values I live my life by). I’m just being honest. These are my feeling. My thoughts. My questions.

Yesterday on Parliament Hill there was a rally. An anti-abortion rally.

“People who call themselves Christians need to take another look at what Christianity means to them and what it means to life,” Ms. Kearney said, standing with her friends under a light drizzle and cloudy skies. The Prime Minister calls himself a Christian, she said. “I’m not judging him because I don’t know the man. But, if you call yourself a Christian, then you should believe in life from conception.”

And what if he does? What if he calls himself a Christian? What if he does believe life starts at conception?

I believe in creation. I believe that there is a place for each of us. I believe that we are all broken. I believe that Eden was going to be perfect, we were perfect and than that all changed and since then there has been, is this huge void that we all fill with anything to try to make it right, to try to feel even just a bit of what Eden may have felt like. That complete-ness that love, that perfection.

As I type this, type my thoughts on a piece of paper, I’m not really scared – more preparing for the responses I’ll get back, being ready if you will for the conversation to continue.

Can I say this? Would you allow me the space to say this……that I believe that life begins at conception, that for each human being there is a plan for our lives. I look at the complexity of the human body and cant’ help but marvel at creation.  I also believe though that every single time that we suggest abortion is a sin or work so hard as to make sure that there is a punishable law, we seem to forget the people that are connected to – attached to the policy.  We seem to ignore the fact that for some reason, (insert factor here - and yes one being the individual in question was just irresponsible and didn’t want to have a kid or maybe they felt scared to admit they messed up, maybe they didn't want to be judged) an individual given the free choice irrelevant of our definition of right and wrong – choose to have an abortion.  But all of these choices, for whatever reason, just show how broken we are and should evoke in us, those of us who say we live differently a response of love.

Why have we as the evangelical church taken to two issues so passionately when the Bible isn’t just a two issue book. I feel as though sometimes we are missing out on what our faith is about. I can’t help but try to reconcile that line Jesus spoke saying “you be the first to cast the stone”.  Maybe this can help:  Tony Campolo suggested that “Those issues are biblical issues: to care for the sick, to feed the hungry, to stand up for the oppressed. I contend that if the evangelical community became more biblical, everything would change”……. And that’s what I want. I want to live differently. I want to extend grace. I want to honor my belief without dishonouring my neighbour.

Could it be that many of us just don’t have the words or even the assurance to enter into this conversation. Similar to the conversations going on in the USA right now about marriage, I am really curious as to why the debate only seems to be one way. If we as Christians believe that God’s laws are not man’s laws and than why is it so important for us to change the laws now. And why is it that we ask for separation of church and state but only for certain issues?  Another good quote that really captures my thinking:

“I don't know of many evangelicals who want to deny gay couples their legal rights. However, most of us don't want to call it marriage, because we think that word has religious connotations, and we're not ready to see it used in ways that offend us” – Tony Campolo. And this makes me look more deeply into the mystery of the love and grace that has changed my life, of what I believe.

These are things that I know to be true in my life

-          We are created

-          There is purpose in this life

-          I don’t have all the answers

-          I want people to know that I care about their story

-          I want people to know that I’m not better than them

-          I want to live my life differently.

So for right now, while I ask these questions and engage in conversation and take each day to choose love over hate, I will choose what I will be for…..

"to work in the world lovingly meand that we are defining what we will be for, rather than reacting to what we are against" - christina baldwin.