I used to think that I was someone who had a good understanding of what was going on in my community. I used to think that I was connected to issues and concerns. Maybe on a national level and provincial level I am connected, or think I am based on what is getting reported in popular media. In all my thinking that I'm aware and connected I can admit that I've been wrong.
I find it hard to put into words my thoughts at this moment. I want to say that "this week afforded me the opportunity to see a new", but then I become bothered by the idea that it is an opportunity for me to relearn, the fact that I'm learning from someones painful experience. might I say it this way: this week has provided for me a real reminder of the world that we live in, how much division exists between the rich and the poor, how much opportunity there is to work for something more than myself".
I have been in two systems this week. the educational system and the judicial system. I have seen people working to make these systems better. I have seen people working to satisfy their selfish desires through the system. I have seen people try to understand these systems. I have seen brokenness and pride and stubbornness, really in the most simplified way of putting it, a bunch of broken people just trying to make it through.
I believe that much of this is causing me reflection, causing me to write because I think about what I'm doing with my time and talents. I'm thinking about the next degree I want to do. I'm thinking about all those people that give of themselves for others. this isn't a pity party. it is honest writing about these moments, right now and holding myself to accountability.
I hear comments on the radio program I listen to as I wake up in the early morning. I hear people say about those occupying (insert city name here) how much of a waste of time it is and the fact that nothing can come of their sitting in streets and waving signs. It makes me think of all the times in which there have been moments where people have banded together to change the course of history because they wanted for more.
It's been a while since I've felt sadness that makes my heart hurt the way it has hurt this week. Yet, in these moments of sadness there is a reminder that comes in the form of a teacher who chooses to show up to their classroom even though it will be chaos in motion and seem as though there is no purpose. there is a reminder that comes in the form of a family member who supports and cares, even when the sanctions and penalties are given out. there is a reminder that comes from people saying they won't accept others having less than what they have, and that they will fight for justice, even for those who can't fight for themselves.
and I am reminded that as Elie Weisel said "Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings". i reflect on the gift of time and talent and passion and hope. i refocus again, and with the sadness that I feel, get excited about what I can do here, in my community to occupy hope.